So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
