I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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