so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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