I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize