You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
