Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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