Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
