..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize