And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
