upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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