weddingsv make me drug and hornr
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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