So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
