Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize