you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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