Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
