I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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