She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
