At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
