Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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