I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
