so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
