i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
