this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
