In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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