I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
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Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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