We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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