goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
