he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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