So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
