She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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