Its about making memories worth repressing
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?