Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
