ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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