Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize