It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
