If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
