tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
