beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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