Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
