saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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