i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
