he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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