I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
