dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
