my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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