I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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