Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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