My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
