Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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