is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
