i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
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You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
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I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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