dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize