there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
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He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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