So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
