I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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