She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
