please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
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I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
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Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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