I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
