drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she told me i tasted like america
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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