I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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