ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
