I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
