Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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