I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
