There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
