is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!