mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".